Tomorrow Jeff is finally getting his ACL replaced. I swear, his body is that of a 73 year old: countless broken bones, sprains, surgeries, concussions, etc. Anyway, it’s the same surgery Tiger Woods just had. Jeff is getting cadaver parts to replace his ACL, which has elicited the most bizarre reactions from a few people. My reaction is this: where do I send the thank you note? Growing up we couldn’t play with our birthday or Christmas presents or spend the cash until we wrote thank-you notes. I am a real tight-ass about thank you notes, in fact I am all over Jeff since he has not yet sent thank you notes for Father’s Day (note to the moms, I will send him to the hospital with blank cards so it will keep him busy).
Anyway, here is what my letter would say:
Dear Kind and Giving Dead Dude Deceased Sir,
Thank you so much for part of your knee. My husband will enjoy it tremendously while he plays hide-and-seek, soccer, baseball, and potato sack races with our son. I, too, appreciate it so Jeff can accompany me on long trips to the mall and run all the extra errands he has been slacking off on in the past few months. I want to assure you that we will not abuse this gift of an ACL like Mickey Mantle on St. Patrick’s Day. We will treasure, respect, shine and buff the precious ligament.
Yours truly,
KD
